biggie boy...

I'm sorry.
But he is the most beautiful boy...I've ever seen.
Those eyes...they go straight to my heart.
Yum-my!
So, we are almost 10 mo. old now.
Adjusted, that makes us nearly 6 mo. old.
These are my newest tricks!
Look at him pushing up!!! Also...showing off his ability to sit!!!!

Yep...did that today for the first time!

Don't know about you but...I find his shirt VERY appropriate. :0) At his 9mo. check up...he is 14.4 lbs and 25in tall!

Biggie boy!

Of course for 9mo. he's not on the chart....

but for a 5mo. old...he is in the 25th percent!

That is AWESOME! :0)

My boys...

Were in Baltimore this weekend.
Caleb had a regional football tournament.
Dad, Caleb, Noah, and G'pa went.
It's good to have them home.
Emma and I...think they should do it again. ;0)

smile...

She makes me smile.
*most of the time* ;0)

My boys....

So, a couple of days I posted about my sweetest Emma.
I shared a song...that is my desire for her.
I also have a song for my boys.
You know...the two older ones. :0)
*Jacob and Grace are still lullabies to me!* Oh my...how I love these boys/young men.
They are responsible, tender hearted, and pure.
When I heard the chorus to this song...it was my hearts cry for them.
It's the first song on my play list.

"The Words I Would Say"

Three in the morning,

And I'm still awake,

So I picked up a pen and a page,
And I started writing,

Just what I'd say,

If we were face to face,

I'd tell you just what you mean to me,

I'd tell you these simple truths,

.

Be strong in the LORD and,

Never give up hope,

You're going to do great things,

I already know,

God's got His hand on you so,

Don't live life in fear,

Forgive and forget,

But don't forget why you're here,

Take your time and pray,

These are the words I would say,

.

Last time we spoke,

You said you were hurting,

And I felt your pain in my heart,

I want to tell you,

That I keep on praying,

Love will find you where you are,

I know cause I've already been there,

So please hear these simple truths,

.

Be strong in the LORD and,

Never give up hope,

You're going to do great things,

I already know,

God's got His hand on you so,

Don't live life in fear,

Forgive and forget,

But don't forget why you're here,

Take your time and pray,

These are the words I would say,

From one simple life to another,

I will say, Come find peace in the Father,

.

Be strong in the LORD and,

Never give up hope,

You're going to do great things,

I already know,

God's got His hand on you so,

Don't live life in fear,

Forgive and forget,

But don't forget why you're here,

Take your time and pray,

Thank God for each day,

His love will find a way,

These are the words I would say

heaven is the face...

Remember this post?
This is where I saw Steven Curtis Chapman perform his newest song...that had not been released yet.
"Heaven is the face"
Written, about the daughter that he lost in a tragic accident.
Hearing this live was...almost too much.
Loss is loss...I can't hear it without shedding at least one tear.
It's good.
Really good.
So scroll down...pause my music...and enjoy.

*Jenn...you have a little girl...with dark brown eyes...that disappear when she smiles. I know you will sob over this...sorry*

broken...

I am absolutely...broken for this family.
Here is a video of where they were just days ago:


Look on their blog to see where they are today.
http://www.gavinowens.com/

When I shed tears with Mrs. Mercado...*from Riley*...I felt like a lunatic.
The tears flow so easily over other's joys and sorrows, now.
She reminded me that it's because I know.
I know how BIG, those little accomplishments are.
How quickly, our miracles could be taken from us.
Life on earth is tough.
Our only comfort, is in knowing that they will see him again.
Completely healed...running, playing, laughing.
No more pain.

worry...

I despise worry.
Really, I do.
I have little verses taped around my home.
I read them...in my head...out loud.
Still...every once in a while...it creeps in.
I hear of all these kiddos...uncompromised...fighting for their lives in our local PICU.
"Normal" kids...upper respiratory infections...that are KICKING their bums.
It makes me fearful.
I despise that as well.
Fear.
Seriously...4 people I know...in the last 2 weeks have had their own, or someone they know...admitted, intubated and vented. They are not getting well quickly. They are not testing positive for H1N1.
I feel so crumby right now...I can only imagine how Miss Grace is feeling.
Also, will I ever get used to how CRAZY low her heart rate is...being on this beta blocker??
Awake and moving....70bpm. Relaxed and sleeping...30-40bpm.
Can that really be efficient????
Her little nail beds are purple ALL of time.
I just have to tell everyone..."she doesn't perfuse well."
That's what they tell me...but why doesn't she?
Don't know.

boo-hiss...

I am NOT feeling well.
Not a stomach virus this time.
Cough and sinus PRESSURE. *ouch!*
Grace is a fountain of snot right now.
She returned to school this week and the cough and runny nose immediately returned.
I thought that mending her heart would fix EVERYTHING.
Don't know what I'm going to do about school yet.
The school nurse made sure I knew today that this is "normal".
All the kids cough...all year long.
It won't kill her.
I can't help but feel like...she doesn't know my daughter.
We will see.
I don't feel peace about taking or leaving her.
I love the progress she has made...hate the sickness.